June 10, 2013

There is no such thing as a happy life.

There is no such thing as contentment.

There is no such thing as success.

There is only ambition, wishes, dreams, aspirations.

All I ever wanted is a normal life. No, not a normal normal life. I wanted a life full of adventures, full of stories, full of life. That's normal, right? Every night, or every time I am alone, I talk and ask myself the same questions. 

What is happening in your life?

Why are you sad?

Why don't you have work today?

Why are you alone?

Why are all of your friends busy?

Why aren't you busy today?

Why are you asking that question again?

When will you write that script?

Why are you so lazy?

Hey, get up now. Work.

Sometimes I feel so lonely I want to cry but I don't know why. I will fall asleep but I will never dream. Sometimes I tell myself I'm crazy, the kind of psychologically crazy. Am I depressed? No. It's just normal for loners.

A Little Video I Made

BTS Khamille and Miel (Dado and Xyza post-wedding night) from Phy Grande on Vimeo.
I decided to shoot them just because.

Music used without permission - Fragile Fireworks by Worlds End Girlfriend

Style and Soul: Beyond Fashion: Bravo, Mario O'Hara

A small tribute to a great director

Style and Soul: Beyond Fashion: Bravo, Mario O'Hara

6-28-2011

I feel like an empty shell right now. It seems like life and creativity has been sucked out from me and there's this hollow space enveloping my very being. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to tell everybody how hard it is for me to lose myself, my persona, this person inside me. But I can't. I don't have the guts. I don't even know why I feel like this. This feeling of being left alone by things you can't hold, things that exist but intangible. I feel like this person writing this is not the same person from two years ago. Something's changed.   Like for a brief moment of time, a spark, something disappeared and it took everything. I just can't write anymore. I can't draw anymore. I can't sing anymore. I can't talk to people anymore. It is very depressing and lonely yet sometimes it feels like it is what I wanted. There's something else happening. I am crippled by the emptiness and it is not helping me in any other way. Even reading books, which used to be my refuge in times of grievances, is making me sad and doubtful. I am not me anymore, yet it is me.

There is something wrong. 

How to care for Introverts

I am an introvert. Or so I believe I am.

A Little Tribute to Summer

And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer. ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Summer from Phy Grande on Vimeo.

A tribute to the beach with a little effort on friendship.

Music used without permission: Fly Away- Annie Little

Shot and edited by yours truly. Starring Dale de Jesus, Rizzi Gorospe and Camille Intal.

Xyza and Dado Wedding Video

Dado and Xyza's Wedding from Phykhazzi Productions on Vimeo.

Shot by:
Phyllis Grande
Hazel Tan

Edited by:
Khamille Lim

Color-graded by:
Phyllis Grande
Khamille Lim

Stills by:
Aleli Mesina
Miel Arrojado

Music:
Smile by Uncle Kraker

Hello to our new peg in life! Us as wedding videographers. We have a site but there's nothing to see yet. Lalala~ I hope for their marriage to last because they're so cute together. Then I wanna get married na. Oh, no. Not yet.